As a result of this inner work, I finally found, inside of myself, the comfort and solace I had sought for half a century.

Lost & Found

01.12.2009   Gail Bongalis

Lost & Found: My Soul Hunting Experience

The day after the Soul Hunting portion of Wilbert Alix’s Dynamic Mythology Experience, a workshop recently held here in the Vancouver area, I felt that I had found a part of myself.  The part of my soul that returned during the workshop was taken from me as a small child, during an extremely traumatic event; one that shaped the course of my life, a childhood abduction.   I had never journeyed so deeply into my inner world and was grateful for Wilbert’s teachings.   Before this course, I’d never given thought to whether or not parts of my soul had gone missing.  I wonder how many people have thought about that.   As a result of this inner work, I finally found, inside of myself, the comfort and solace I had sought for half a century.

The day following the workshop, I developed a severe sinus infection.  I began a schedule of sinus washes; my usual home remedy for such problems.  That had worked in the past.  This time, the sea salt and warm water didn’t budge the infection.  It worsened as did my sense of despair & desolation.  I wasn’t worried, though, as I’ve been through a number of emotional purges during illness and welcome the healing opportunity.  Wilbert had advised that the full process could take about two weeks.  I could feel that something big was about to emerge.

By day four my stomach was a swirling, black mire of emotion.  I couldn’t stop thinking and I couldn’t think straight.  My head was pounding.  I refused to resort to antibiotics, not wanting to suppress the emotion and illness.  By today (day six), my head was in “no man’s land!”  I called the acupuncturist, who, of course, had an opening within the hour.  (I love how my life works!)

He laid me out on the table and proceeded to insert about a dozen needles into my cheeks; forehead and around the base of my nose.  Pins were tapped into each side of my neck; the top of my head and into each ankle.  Then, he attached electrodes to the pins; turned on the current; switched out the light and instructed me to take a nap.

Although my head felt as if it would split open at any moment, I could feel myself slipping into an altered state.  The blackness was stabbed by several flashes of brilliant white light and a vaguely familiar feeling overcame me.  All thought stopped.  The black mire was now swirling in my head and within moments, engulfed my entire being.   Although it was most unpleasant, I allowed it to continue.  At the same time, fully aware, I began to wonder where this inner experience would take me.

Suddenly, I was at the scene of the traumatic horseback riding accident I’d had in 1993, that had resulted in amnesia.  While my memory had returned fairly quickly, I had subconsciously blocked the details of the accident and the last thing I recalled was the horse galloping, out of control, toward a low-hanging tree branch.

About 13 years later (2006), and after a lot of self-work, the memory of the accident came flooding back.  For several horrific minutes, I relived the accident.  I had been “brushed” out of the saddle by the branch and my left foot had been caught in one of the stirrups.  There were no words to accompany this sheer terror – the stark horror of knowing I was going to die and there was nothing I could do.  That horror had been ensconced into me on a cellular level and had been trapped inside for all those years.  My brain had been shaken like a bowl of jelly as the horse tossed me around like a rag doll, eventually extricating himself from me about 20 feet away from where I’d been knocked out of the saddle.  I laid, unconscious, for several minutes before a friend realized I was not following behind and returned to investigate.

Suddenly, I realized why the black mire felt so familiar.  It was the same feeling that had engulfed me at the time of the accident.  I remember hearing my name being called from afar.  My friend, was calling as he approached the scene, still on horseback.  Stars had circled my head, just like in the cartoons and I could only moan.  Words would not come.  I didn’t want to come back.  I wanted to go toward the light.  I wanted him to leave me alone . . . It hurt so much I couldn’t bear to come back.

I heard my name over and over again, getting louder.  I just wanted the voice to stop.  I often think that if my friend hadn’t called my name repeatedly that I would not be here today.  I would have slipped away.  It was only after he physically touched my body that I returned to the physical world. It was a good ten minutes before I could even open my eyes, only to have them painfully pierced by the blinding daylight.  I had no idea who this man was . . . that’s another story!  Two bumps, that felt like the size of small eggs protruded from my skull and I could barely walk.  Later, as I undressed to shower, that evening, I found a gigantic bruise, the size and shape of a horse’s hoof, on my abdomen.

Over the next 15 years I endured a myriad of health issues, including a headache that lasted over five years.  I also developed fibromyalgia.  I had hurt so much, everywhere, for so long that it was difficult for the doctors to diagnose any specific issues.  The doctors did the best they could.  When the practitioners gave up and all else failed, I turned to more unconventional methods of healing.  Through intuition, I found a physiotherapist to work with and I discovered that my spine was misaligned.  I worked with him to remedy that.  Through psychotherapy to help deal with the trauma; dance and music, my body slowly responded and managed to heal itself, to the point where, over the past couple of years, I lead what appears to others to be a normal life.  I’ve never been quite able to fully recover, though.

Now, in the darkness of the acupuncturist’s office, my mind switched to the scene of the accident.  I was looking down at myself and I was laying, unconscious, on the snow-covered ground.  “Wait,” I thought . ” There is my soul floating above me, too.”  It had seen the beautiful white light in the distance and was headed toward it.  I immediately realized I was in three places at once.  Clearly, I could see my body and my soul and my mind was totally coherent.  I could feel my head exploding inside as I lay on the acupuncturist’s table. The pain was so severe, at the time of the accident that my soul had taken that memory away from my mind, as a coping mechanism.

As I watched my soul, a hovering mass of beautiful, beaming energy, move toward the light, I silently called to it, asking it to return to my body.  It fought the notion and kept moving toward the light, floating further afield.  “It’s okay.  It’s safe to come back now,” I told it.  “My memory is intact and you don’t need to protect me from the pain anymore.”   I felt my soul relax and visually saw my luminescent soul float toward me.  Instantaneously, the luminescence disappeared and an ethereal duplicate of my  body floated directly above the body on the ground.  As I watched the two bodies integrated, I felt significant tingling, from head to toe, in the acupuncturist’s office.  I knew that a major part of my soul had re-integrated into my body and now, the remainder of my healing can be completed.

The electrodes continued to pulsate and send electric current into my head.  I was, again, so grateful for the experience because I felt such relief.  I began to wonder where else my soul had been compromised.  Where else had I parted with pieces of my soul; either to a particular person, or due to other traumatic events.  And further, were there parts of anyone else’s soul I had inadvertently or unknowingly stolen?  Why hadn’t anyone ever told me about this before?  In spite of studying mediumship for a number of years, I’d never heard of soul retrieval prior to encountering Wilbert Alix.

Suddenly, faces of people from my past began popping into my mind; people whom I had tried to forgive for many years.  In fact, I thought I had forgiven them.  Perhaps I had.  But I was still hanging onto pieces of their soul.  Some of them were holding onto pieces of my soul, too!  I realized that in order for me to totally “let go” and heal, I had to return these soul pieces to their rightful owners.

The pain in my head was starting to subside a bit and my face no longer felt the pulsations.  I decided to visualize a ceremony in which I would give these folks their souls back; people whom, at one time, I couldn’t bear to let go of and people against whom I apparently held grudges.  I pictured huge shears cutting a page that bore the face of the first person who had popped up, like cutting a picture out of a magazine.  As the page flew up, into the air, I felt my heart strings go “zing!”  “Oh, my gosh!”  My mind screamed with joy!  Over the years I’ve come to recognize that “zing” as spiritual healing.

More faces began to pop up.   I clipped, with the deliberate intention of returning the pieces of souls I had been hanging onto for years.  With each person, I also felt into whether they were hanging onto parts of my soul.  Some were, so I asked for them back.  I could feel the re-integration on some of them.  Others, will require further work!

What a discovery!  What freedom!  I feel so much lighter.  My head is clearer.  I have taken a quantum stride in my healing journey!  And acupuncture has taken on a whole new dimension for me!  This evening my mind is quiet and I feel an inner glow throughout my entire body.

Whose soul are you hanging onto?  And who is holding pieces of your soul?  If you’ve never journeyed to your inner world, you may want to consider attending Wilbert Alix’s Dynamic Mythology Experience!  It’s out of this world! 

Gail Bongolis